Hey pops I could really use your 1am phone calls right about now… sometimes i still catch myself up waiting for you to call until i remember. We’d talk & laugh for hours and one day change all that within a blink of and eye. So much has happened since you’ve been away its been really hard some days mentally but i always hear you saying “keep going babygirl you got this” everything happened so fast and the bullshit i have been going through with that ungrateful girl i was with you even called your daughter everyday its something new with smh.. part of the reason it still haven’t to had the time to process everything with you its like its all a blur i lose trsck of days sometimes i lost you & both my aunts back to back same month just days apart it was like i couldn’t breathe as if time stopped FOR MONTHS. I met a guy last September I really wish you could of met him hes been helping me through everything he was there for me when i got the news about you. He’s really a great guy pops and picks me up when i fall its a safe love a healthy love were bot perfect but we’re perfect for eachother i know you would have really liked him for me🥺. Just want to let you know im really trying my hardest down here i hope your watching and I’m still making your proud you were always my biggest supporter in anything i did i just wanna say thank you so much for everything and i love you & miss you dearly. Being the oldest isnt easy especially after this feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders at times you were the oldest as well so that makes since why we inderstood eachother more, ive been trying to work hard for what you wanted for me and my sister while worrying about her worrying about mom while trying to get myself together balance life while grieving to try & take care of everyone else its alot but im managing to stay sane. I lost myself for a longggg time somedays i cry for hours & stay in bed and most days im better but everyday I’m finding me again one day at a time right❤️‍🩹