From the bottom of my heart, I’m so sorry in behalf of “Christians” who have misrepresented Jesus to you. Or if you’re like me, they hurt you and claimed to be lead by the holy spirit. This kind of misuse of Gods grace breaks his heart more than anything. That’s why it is SO important that you read his word for yourself. I wish I knew this sooner. God does NOT cause chaos, confusion, betrayal, rules, religion, dishonesty, hypocrisy, anxiety, depression, condemnation, etc. In reading his word I have not only learned the truth but it has made it easier to forgive. Put God first above your paster, your friends, your family, your spouse, etc. He will never fail you. I love you all ❤️