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It’s wild to think how far Luca has come when it’s all written out this way. A journey of ups and down, highs and lows, and miracle after miracle, but we made it, we are here planning our exit our of the NICU right before Luca turns three months old. Three months, how?! I’m not the same person who walked into this NICU three months ago. I’m different. I’ve changed. I don’t think you have these experiences and not change. I have new appreciations, a new understanding of life, how sacred and fragile it is. I have had to pray some of the hardest prayers to pray during this journey. “God heal my son, on this side or in Heaven”. Over and over. No words a mother should ever have to pray but we came so close too many times it’s hard to count, also not a count I will do. Motherhood is sacred and the ability to mother your children here on earth is extra sacred, something I wouldn’t have thought twice about before but now it’s part of my daily thoughts. I get to watch my children grow up, all four of them, something I so easily took for granted before and now something I can’t stop thinking about. If we can say that, we are so incredibly blessed. For mama’s who never got to leave with their babies, I see you. I don’t understand it and I’m so incredibly sorry from the depths of my heart. I know you’re here following, I know you get the twinges in your heart. I know it’s unfair. I don’t understand it, why some, why not others, I can’t wrap my mind around it and as I try to my heart shatters into pieces, survivors guilt is real but also the least painful and best option of them all. I want you to know I hold space for you here but also I understand, as much as i can, when you need to step away. It’s just important to me that you know you are seen. On Tuesday we walk out of here. I’ll be hold Luca and taking him outside of these doors. Thank you all for walking alongside us as we do it. Thank you God that I will get to raise all four of my children 🤍 #downsyndrome #adoption #viral #fyp #momsoftiktok #nicu #medicalmom #foryoupage
Duration: 10 sPosted : Thu, 18 Jan 2024 17:13:46Views
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