When we have to consistently defend or justify a relationship to ourselves & to our family or friends time & time again, it's usually because we can't see who's really holding that kn!fe, turn around. Justifying a partner or a person and the way they have treated you and others in our life time and time again to ourselves or family or friends is avoidant dismissive behaviour, turn around. Defending the actions of a partner or person towards ourselves or our family or friends knowing that they were wrong is toxic codependency, turn around. Trying to make others see what simply is not there within the person you are connected to is our fear, pride, ego, guilt and shame attached to those constant silent wounds inflicted by that person, turn around. Staying in a toxic relationship because it's easier than walking away, is internal gaslighting and self sabotage, most people in a toxic connection know exactly what a person has done to them and to others but chooses fear over freedom, turn around. When you consistently have to defend or justify a relationship or a person's actions and behaviour towards you and the other people in your life, we are often made to feel from that partner or person that everyone else is wrong, however It's not everyone else that's really holding that kn!fe is it? Turn around. People get stuck in misery without even noticing that they have all that they've ever needed to justify the next chapter without that person we've had to constantly defend or justify being in it, now that is truely justifiable if you ask me, turn around. Justifying is defending, ask yourself what is it that you are you defending? The constant flight or fight mode? Or the toxic environment or person? When our family or friends don't relate to a person we have to constantly defend it's because they've seen who's really holding that kn!fe, turn around. There's a truth we sometimes don't see when we have to constantly defend or justify someone in our lives, it's because subconsciously we know that they don't belong there, so the defence mechanism is to justify it externally, turn around. Love is not constant justifying or defending or covering up damage or wounds, closing off or Shutting down or defending a poor choice, it's free, all parts of love are absolutely freeing, turn around. Justifying someone who doesn't fit into all parts of your life is avoidance and lack of self awareness that we all go through in our lives, justify the closure instead, stop justifying the constant scars you face alone, turn around. Don't let scars and time define who you are, that moment when you finally see the destruction and choas that's happened in your life, that, that is the moment that defines you, because you get to chose to put the kn!fe down for the other person and walk away. Scars heal, turn around. Forgive yourself. #scars #justify #youloved #scarsheal #turnaround #defineyou #forgiveyourself