For years of my life I never believed I was going to break out of my cycle of toxic relationships. And honestly it’s because a large part of me didn’t want to-I grew up feeling the need to chase and preform for love and acceptance. Chasing someone who rejected me, was a familiar pattern of mine. I was addicted to the chaos, and confusion. All I know about love is that it was messy, and I LIVED for the highs of when I was finally chosen. Healthy relationships, or relationships that lacked emotional volatility and uncertainty, felt boring to me. My heart, mind, and body accepted the cycle of inconsistent love as norma..in fact I craved it. But life shifted for me when I heard the quote “you will stop choosing toxic partners when you heal the parts of you that craves them.” 5+ years of begging and I knew by engaging in the chase-I was reaffirming my own core wounds: that I wasn’t worthy of love and attention. And one day (after many many relapses)..I broke the cycle. I f*cking broke the cycle. While I was filming this moment at my engagement shoot..wanting to capture how proud I was..Dylan came in and said “our kids will see this one day” (😭❤️ felt out of a movie) and it hit me that this finally feels like home. I re-decorated it many times..but finally it doesn’t feel like confusion or chaos. I want you to know it is possible to choose yourself, no matter how long that takes you. It hurts more than anything, but to me nothing hurts worse than constantly chasing someone who doesn’t want to choose you. You have the strength, I promise❤️ #engagementshoot #engagementdress #engagementphotos #fyp