I have also been worried about several of my friends who are facing impossible decisions & the end of any available treatment option, including surgery. I can watch myself struggle but it’s entirely different when I see it happening to others & there’s nothing you can do but be present. In the next few weeks, I’m going to take a mini vacation with family, spend more time with my friends & scratch things off the list of things I’ve been wanting & capable of doing. I cannot escape my body or ignore it, but I can have control over when to schedule my follow up appts, so I’m gonna do that to have a little reprieve from doctors. With nothing going to plan right now, it adds another layer of uncertainty that I want so badly to be distracted from. I’m in severe pain from May Thurner syndrome but it’s not life threatening like my line is, so it’s looking like I’ll have to focus solely on being listed & then doing May Thurner surgery if the appeal is accepted later down the road. Whatever the plan is going forward, I know I’ll give it everything I have but right now I’m trying to figure out how to rest my soul & embrace what I can before another hospitalization or surgery #chronicillness #gastroparesis #intestinalfailure #mitochondrialdisease #mals #smas #ncs #mts #cvid #mcas #pots #transplant #centralline #totalparenteralnutrition #gjtube #fyp