🚨LIVE Program for Pursuer/Anxious lovers - Enrolling now: LINK IN BIO 🚨 Even though distancers* can appear cold or unbothered, deep down, most feel anxious and overwhelmed during conflicts (* also called ‘Avoidants’). They withdraw not because they want to hurt you but because they often don’t know HOW to deal with their big feelings. They learned to withdraw to protect themselves; hiding behind a wall is THEIR VERSION OF A SAFE SPACE. My hope with this post is not to encourage anyone to stay in unhealthy relationships. Rather, I hope this will help some of you understand your distancer/avoidant partners with compassion, which will help you deal with conflicts better as the Pursuer/Anxious partner. It’s common for Pursuers (Anxious) to be in a relationship with Distancers (avoidants) because their deepest fears are confirmed in each other. Pursuers’ deepest fear is that they are too much, aren’t good enough, and will be abandoned. Distancers’ deepest fear is that they’ll be overwhelmed, controlled, or smothered if they get too close to people. In such relationships, the Pursuer-Distancer Cycle is a common pattern in which many couples get stuck, which can drain or break many relationships. If you struggle with this, please know that you aren’t alone, and with willingness and effort, it can be changed. NOTES: - This doesn’t apply to healthy distancing. In some situations, taking a break and moving away from heated conversations can be GOOD for the relationship. - This doesn’t apply to abusive relationships or encouraging anyone to stay in unhealthy/unfulfilling relationships - you may need to re-evaluate it. ______ P.S. Are you the Pursuer (Anxious) partner? Do you want to break your anxious patterns and become secure in yourself and, therefore, in your relationship? 🌟Then the ‘Secure Love Program’ is for you!🌟 * LIVE workshops + tools + homework. * 1:1 Private Coaching with me. * Community with other like-minded people. Limited spots. Starting soon. BOOK A CONSULT CALL (LINK IN BIO)
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