I have been in and out of the Emergency Room since January this year. Breaking my (semi)silence on social media because I think I awe the people--who reached out to me--an explanation. Living alone while juggling multiple jobs, academic and extracurricular work, and personal responsibilities took a toll on my mental and eventually on my physical health. This caused me to be in a sudden missing-in-action approach towards life and the people around me: my (closest) friends, my family, and even at work--something odd for someone extroverted and goal-getter. While I try to dampen my dark side with a few happy and calm TikTok content I post, it is really different on the other side. Since January, I have been experiencing extreme anxiety and panic attacks; my heartbeat is usually at 140-160 (sinus tachycardia) for hours vs the 60-100 normal beats per minute causing difficulty breathing and fainting; my body is always tensed and trembling; and my blood pressure usually shoots up to 180/110 vs the 110/80 normal BP whenever I have those episodes. Most of the time, I would wish things to just end peacefully. For years, I have been under chronic stress due to how fast-paced my life is. I made work and hustle my world. True enough, I am clinically diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder--with under observation for bipolarity--which I am trying to cure with my ongoing psychotherapy and cognitive behavior therapy sessions. On top of this, I am still nursing my one-week old post-open appendectomy surgery. Some lessons I've learned at 27: Life is too short. People will never remember how good you are at work or in life. They will cherish the times you spent with them and the memories you created together. No money or material things can compensate to the relationship you build with others and with yourself. Enjoy life. Don't push yourself too much, especially when no one else is asking you to do so. Live. Love. Laugh. I sincerely apologize for all the missed calls and texts, dumped emails, declined invites, neglected responsibilities, and failed expectations of me. It was and it is still a rough time for me. The best peace offering I can only promise is for myself to be fully healed, so I will be able to make it up to life and the people around me. For now, I will rest and focus. Thank you and see you soon! #selflove #hospital #anxiety #panic