I spent a LIFETIME trying to please that woman. It wasnt until she passed that i realized I could never and it wasnt my job to make her happy. She literally despised me. I became a comedian as a child, bought her things, tried to make her smile by picking every flower I saw. Big gestures and small ones, but silence or rage was my portion. What an existence for a child. I understand so much about her now, and have firgiven who she was and feel sorry that she was such an empty vessel. #adoption #adopted #biracialadoptee #70sbaby #adoptionabusesurvivor #narcsurvivor #traumarecovery #scapegoatchild #healing