an apology to my 5 month old baby, for the mom that i’ve been. i'm sorry that i spent more time tracking your wake windows than i did your smiles. i'm sorry i stressed when your naps were cut short instead of delighting in seeing you so soon. i'm sorry i worried more about looming transitions (sleep regressions, developmental leaps) than present joys. i’m sorry i cared more about how many black and white cards i showed you, and not all of the facial expressions we could make together. i'm sorry i put more importance on the minutes of tummy time you did that day, than on the minutes you laughed. i'm sorry i was so focused on not creating bad habits, when all you wanted and needed was to be close. i'm sorry it took me 4 months to figure this out, but i promise i will never forget. ❤️ (ib: @Caitlin Wilder) #postpartum #firsttimemom