My projector, my soul animal and my music transport me to another place where for a moment it doesn't hurt so bad

I'm not going to lie it's really blôódy hard. I often dissociate into scenarios where im laying in the sun and I get lifted out of my painful body into a peaceful place. This week, this month I'm here. Thats all I can promise. #assistedying #chronicillness #chronicpain

I thought endo surgery was going to change it all but all I've done is go downhill since then. My inflamation markers have doubled, on steroids every other week with a horrible 25kg weight gain, often unable to walk or function as I use to. Sometimes I close my eyes driving on the highway sun on my face and I dream of crashing into a car. I think if this could all just end while in the sun and feeling at peace, it would maybe be an okay way to go.

I've been through this process too many times now. You wait for the dr to open there mouth and tell you what you already know but don't want to believe. I've been very absent I wish I could be on here more but most days I'm barely able to move. I'm in the thick of it and I hope I'll come out the other side but also am not sure I will most days.

She is such a loving confident little dog. We are so proud of the beautiful creature she has grown up to be ♥️ #puppy #puppylove #furchild